Journal & Thoughts

This is a space where I will share past journal entries that are relevant and may provide new learnings on your own journey.  I mix my current commentary ideas with excepts from my journals.  I welcome feedback and questions at martha@surfaceyourpurpose.com. Thank you!

Who am I without something to do?

I randomly opened a journal and found this entry.  I love what I wrote and can feel the gentle support I am giving myself.  And what’s resonating now is I am focused on decluttering my life – both figuratively and literally.  And this entry really talks about decluttered my doing and being aware of the moment.  Stopping and noticing.  And this is the most simple declutter there is.

 

7/11/20

Who am I without something to do? I am a body that has complex systems and works together beautifully to keep me living and experiencing life. I coexist with the universe, breathing, eating, feeling the sun on my arms. Without something to do, I can notice, feel, touch, smell and hear. I become aware of how my senses are working. I feel my clothes on my skin, I see the leaves move in the wind, I smell the fresh air. I am so much more connected to the universe and aware of my connection. I feel loved and supported. Without something to do, I cannot judge myself my saboteurs wait it out. It opens up permission, love, kindness. It’s almost like an innocence and freedom – there is no doing it wrong or worry about others will think. It just is. The person I am without something to do it’s the same one when I am doing something. She is with me all the time and I can tap in to her anytime I want.  AND I can decide not to do something anytime I choose. And that is a gift. I am feeling kindness, love, connection and awareness.

I am really loving this person, these thoughts resonate and feel gentle, kind and warm.  I will tap into the concept of being someone with nothing to do to see what opens up for me and where it takes me.

– MM

A turning point …

I am sharing the full entry I mentioned on the My Story page.  This was such a profound moment for me.  And one that changed my life.  There was no big event or experience.  I was alone and simply allowing deep emotions to surface.  I believe my soul or my higher self inspired me to shift my perspective completely.  Now, to be clear, I did not move to absolute self-love and never look back.  This is something I work on often and I know I continue to take small steps to grow that love consistently.  My biggest learning is self-love is the biggest power we have.  It allows everything to align and for you to serve others in a beautifully authentic way.

11/27/15 I’ve decided. I’m not waiting around. I’m not relying on others. I’m not hoping something happens. I’m doing it myself. I’m figuring out and doing it. I’m disgusted and I’ve decided. Here is what I am doing: finding an income source that allows me to be comfortable, to share and to get back. And to know I deserve it, it is mine and I’m still a kind, respectful, grateful person. I’m done waiting hoping – now I’m doing. I’m positive confident and certain. It is very good.

11/28/15 As I read what I wrote above, I want to change my goal because I think I miscommunicated the real essence. It is this: from now on I am doing going to be OK with myself. There will be no self-doubt, no more insults. I’ll be aware of and step away from negative thoughts about myself. This is toxic and I find it easily I find it easily get stuck in the trap without even realizing it.  Back to the bigger picture – no more self-doubt, put downs and energy clogging mindset. I know I can do anything on earth I want to I will do it!

This was very early in my awareness journey.  I can see that I started the Untethered Soul shortly after this which makes perfect sense.  If you haven’t read it, it is a perfect book to help grow awareness and the power of choice.

– MM

martha@surfaceyourpurpose.com

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